Well so much for me writing weekly updates in 2023. I guess somethings just don’t change.
I had to sort out a lot emotionally at the beginning of this year if I am honest. I took my first trip outside of China in January, and it was a lot.
I was still recovering from Covid, and I realized how deep my anxiety really was.
And now it’s almost April, and those 10 days I spent outside of China feel like a lifetime ago.
A future post detailing my Italy trip will be coming, just be patient.
Today I just want to share an update on what I’ve been doing these last few months.
To be honest it consists of a lot of reading and writing – just not writing for this blog.
I have been spending a lot of time reflecting and one thing I have noticed is how much time I actually have in the day to do things for myself.
The last couple of years I have stopped taking care of myself in a way that made me feel good or healthy. I put on weight, I stopped doing things I enjoy, and I have become a lot more reclusive.
I think a lot of this is rooted in my anxiety and how I have let it take over my life.
It became too easy to order a double cheeseburger from McDonald’s every night, sometimes chicken nuggets too. Binge watching television, escaping from the realities outside my windows.
I honestly don’t blame myself over it. I know it wasn’t healthy, but I have been living in survival mode.
While I was in Italy though I had a chance to renew an old love of mine, reading. By the time I returned to work in February I had finished 9 books. #humblebrag
And since returning instead of spending my nights in front of the television I found myself reading more and more books. Doing something that I love and truly enjoy. Feeling like a person I used to be, used to love, but left behind a very long time ago.
My nights have changed in 2023, I find myself being more active – like I used to be and reading. I am still working on the socializing thing, but there is a new old sense of renewal in my life.
I feel like I am in more control of my life, or rather am more present in my life. Prioritizing what is good and feels good for my mind, body, and spirit – I know how that sounds, but it’s how I feel.
There is hope again. There is life again.
I know this isn’t a lengthy post, and maybe isn’t what you were expecting to hear from me for the first time since the start of the new year, but this is where I am right now. I’m not going to promise when my next post will come out, because let’s be honest I am not a very consistent person.
But I will write again soon, and I will share more details about Italy, and my plans for the summer.
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