A country song comes on and I flashback to nights in your old red chevy truck.
The breeze on my face feels like that warm Mississippi air.
A smile comes to my face.
I think of you.
Who I used to be.
I’m not longing for you, rather I’m longing for that young women I was with you。
A little foolish.
Blinded by the idea of having somebody to love.
Being around you changed me.
I gave myself to you.
I jumped in without thinking.
I went chasing after a romanticized dream.
Pleasures. Laughter. Mistakes. Love
All filled my days.
Looking back, I don’t know that I loved you.
I just loved how you made me feel.
You were something that I could never fully have.
But you gave me just enough to keep me searching for something more.
I wanted to be your one and only.
But I also knew that we would never be.
I believed in you.
I wanted more for you than I think you thought you could do.
You were my friend.
When you left, I hoped you could come back and achieve your dreams.
Part of me also wanted you to come back to me.
Maybe I did love you.
Or maybe it’s true, you never forget your first.
I don’t know why our paths crossed.
That’s a lie, I do.
We were friends.
You broke a small piece of my heart.
The first to do so.
Truth be told, I think I may have broken you more.
I wanted to love you.
I wanted you to love me.
I think you did.
But I also think you just didn’t want to let me go.
But you did.
I think you loved me a little too late.
Or maybe you just didn’t want me to love anyone else.
I’m not sure we will ever really know.
But I think that’s why I still smile when I hear that country song
That reminds me of your old red chevy.
And the warm breeze of Mississippi.