A country song comes on and I flashback to nights in your old red chevy truck.

The breeze on my face feels like that warm Mississippi air.

A smile comes to my face.

I think of you.

And me.

Who I used to be.

I’m not longing for you, rather I’m longing for that young women I was with you。

Naive.

A little foolish.

Blinded by the idea of having somebody to love.

Being around you changed me.

I gave myself to you.

I jumped in without thinking.

I went chasing after a romanticized dream.

Pleasures. Laughter. Mistakes. Love

All filled my days.

Looking back, I don’t know that I loved you.

I just loved how you made me feel.

You were something that I could never fully have.

But you gave me just enough to keep me searching for something more.

I wanted to be your one and only.

But I also knew that we would never be.

I believed in you.

I wanted more for you than I think you thought you could do.

You were my friend.

When you left, I hoped you could come back and achieve your dreams.

Part of me also wanted you to come back to me.

Maybe I did love you.

Or maybe it’s true, you never forget your first.

I don’t know why our paths crossed.

That’s a lie, I do.

We were friends.

Intimate.

Passionate.

Friends.

You broke a small piece of my heart.

The first to do so.

Truth be told, I think I may have broken you more.

I wanted to love you.

I wanted you to love me.

I think you did.

But I also think you just didn’t want to let me go.

But you did.

I think you loved me a little too late.

Or maybe you just didn’t want me to love anyone else.

I’m not sure we will ever really know.

But I think that’s why I still smile when I hear that country song

That reminds me of your old red chevy.

And the warm breeze of Mississippi.