Ambielyn

Well so much for me writing weekly updates in 2023. I guess somethings just don’t change. I had to sort out a lot emotionally at the beginning of this year if I am honest. I took my first trip outside of China in January, and it was a lot. I was still recovering from Covid,… Continue reading

Yes that is right, it is the year 2023. It feels surreal, almost like I don’t believe it. I never really thought I would be living in a year or decade rather, such as 2023. Not in a morbid foreboding way, but more because it seemed to futuristic, too far into the future; not something… Continue reading

I don’t remember a lot of things from my childhood. And a lot of what I do remember is painful. Or I just don’t know if what I remember actually happened or was just told to me. As an adult now I understand that memory loss is a part of growing up with trauma. The… Continue reading

I don’t think anyone could fully understand what it is like to literally be stuck and not allowed to leave unless you have been in this situation. The anxiety of is food going to run out? Considering the options for deliveries were growing slimmer, this was a real panic. How long are they going to… Continue reading

Part I On August 6, 2022 more than 80,000 tourists were stranded on the Chinese island, Sanya, also known as the Hawaii of China. The city shut down all transportation, including flights, trains, and even didis (Chinese Uber) as an effort to control the latest Covid 19 spread. Sanya is or should I say was,… Continue reading

亲爱的业主[愉快]疫情再次来袭，为了你和家人的健康可先自行前往核酸检测点进行检测，避免统一检测等待时间较长，小区附近检测点（环宇坊麦当劳门口）；检测时间：早上9：00-晚上23：00，天气炎热请做好防晒哟[玫瑰] Translation: “Dear Owner The epidemic strikes again. For the health of you and your family, you can go to the nucleic acid testing point for testing first to avoid the long waiting time for unified testing. The testing point near the community (the entrance of McDonald’s in Huanyufang); testing time: 9:00 am – 23… Continue reading

Lately. He visits me in my dreams. I don’t remember his laugh. But at night I can feel his pain. Night after night. Anger. Sadness. Grief. Why are you haunting me? What is it that you have to say? Are you disappointed in my choices? Why do you keep coming and going as you please?… Continue reading

I don’t know how young I was. But I was old enough to know that this wasn’t right. It wasn’t ok. This shouldn’t be happening. I was sleeping my mom’s bed that she shared with him at the time. She was at work. I think. I woke up. I was scared. This wasn’t right. What… Continue reading

The carpet is a white, tan, and shaggy. I run my fingers through it like I am combing my hair. The sun is shining through the window and the memory is filtered in white. Sister is there. And so are you, over by the white sofa chair. We are laughing. You are on all fours… Continue reading