Lately. He visits me in my dreams. I don’t remember his laugh. But at night I can feel his pain. Night after night. Anger. Sadness. Grief. Why are you haunting me? What is it that you have to say? Are you disappointed in my choices? Why do you keep coming and going as you please? …
Author: Ambielyn
The Secret
I don't know how young I was. But I was old enough to know that this wasn't right. It wasn't ok. This shouldn't be happening. I was sleeping my mom's bed that she shared with him at the time. She was at work. I think. I woke up. I was scared. This wasn't right. What …
Grandpa
The carpet is a white, tan, and shaggy. I run my fingers through it like I am combing my hair. The sun is shining through the window and the memory is filtered in white. Sister is there. And so are you, over by the white sofa chair. We are laughing. You are on all fours …
Mississippi Chevy
A country song comes on and I flashback to nights in your old red chevy truck. The breeze on my face feels like that warm Mississippi air. A smile comes to my face. I think of you. And me. Who I used to be. I'm not longing for you, rather I'm longing for that young …
Bus Stop Blues
It was a cold morning. Not the frozen winter kind of cold. But the turn of the season, end of October cold. She was slouched down with her back against the wall and her head in her knees crying. Many mornings were spent like this back then, but no one really knew. She was wearing …
The Hairbrush
It's been a long while since I shared or wrote anything. I keep meaning to write- but I haven't felt inspired. I have distracted myself with Netflix and Hulu because I really didn't want to face myself again. But here I am - back for today. I decided to go through some of my drafts …
My “WHY” in China
It's hard for me to put into words all the things I have experienced these last 4 months. To be honest, moving here has probably been the most challenging thing I've done in a long time. It's not easy, and I do recall people telling me that it wouldn't be easy. But I did it …
A Welcome Back Letter
I haven't posted in a long time. A very long time. And I'm not going to go into details about where I've been, or what I've done over the past year and a half since my last post (May 2018). What I am going to get into is why I'm back. To be honest I've …
Joy in pain
This week I have been listening to the audiobook “The Book of Joy” – which if you have not picked up a copy yet, you should. For me it has brought a lot of reflection in my own life. This book is written by the Dalai Lama, Archbishop Desmond Tutu and Douglas Abrams Carlton. It …
13.1
This past December I did something I never thought I would really do; The St. Jude Half Marathon. I always said I would do it, but I never really thought I would. It was one of those things on my bucket list, that off the past four years or so I kept wanting to signup, …